The Quiet Onez

Immigrant parents mean well, but their tactics for raising children are horrible.

As a parent, I could sympathize with how difficult it is to being a “good” parent. There is no easy way to go about it. We have flaws we carry from our youth up until our adulthood, and our kids see it all.

I carry burdens, sins of my past, and horrible habits that I know I cannot win over entirely until the day I die.

But, I believe the one characteristic that makes a good parent “good” is their willingness to see their flaws and battle them.

Your child sees what you do about your flaws. They see how you handle your emotions, and it seeps onto them.

The problem with immigrant parents is, they don’t see anything wrong with them. Their mantra is “children should be seen, not heard.” That is, they don’t want to hear their children, nor do they want to listen to them.

Additionally, immigrant parents generally have this idea of success and safety they’re after. Since they came from a country that never allowed the pleasures of free will, their values and outlook on life is black and white.

My mom believes dating a certain race will dictate how difficult your life is going to turn out. My mother-in-law believes missing a meal will kill you.

There are certain stories in the minds of immigrant parents that they play over and over in their head that cause them to bring heartache and headaches to the children that they raise.

I say all of this, but not without ignorance.

I know that I don’t know everything. I know that I too will mess up greatly and maybe even do the same things my mom did to me.

At the very least however, I will always let my child know that she’s her own person, and you best bet I will do my best to listen to her as much as I can.

Parenthood is hard. To give our immigrant parents some credit, they did the best they could with the limited resources they could. I don’t blame them for their approach on how we were raised.

It’s only been a recent phenomenon where parents have realized their children are their own people, and they need to take ownership of themselves.

We as older people, must empower and guide them in the right direction as best as we can.