A couple gets married, and within a year or two, they’re ready to have children. The idea of kids excites each of you. You can’t wait to start this new venture, this journey of raising a new life in this world. A tale as old as time.
The idea of children to me has always been amazing. A life coming out of nowhere is nothing short of a miracle. But I genuinely believe that there is one character trait that, if you don’t have it, you should not have children.
Mental resilience and grit.
Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of other reasons not to have children, but this character trait goes a long way when raising children.
I didn’t realize the mental load of having just one child would bring my spouse. I knew she tends to give up, but the absolute heartache, pain, and drama she brings to the household because she cannot manage her emotions is unbearable.
Life is simply much harder when you have no mental resilience and grit. You give up, complain, and blame something or someone else for your problems. That’s why I think it’s so important to put kids through sports or some kind of extracurricular activity that would push them beyond their mental limits.
The ultimate catch: if you have a growth mindset and are willing to put in the work, having a child could grow your mental resilience and grit.
I hope that this is the case with my spouse, and so far, I’ve seen improvements. But there are plenty of times when it is I who needs to become mentally resilient to deal with my significant other’s lack of grit.
The Quiet Onez 
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