I’m indirectly reminded that I’m a “shitty” boyfriend more than I would like to be by my actions and the various arguments I get in about what “normal” boyfriends should be doing.
I’m indirectly reminded that I’m a “shitty” boyfriend more than I would like to be by my actions and the various arguments I get in about what “normal” boyfriends should be doing.
Compared to the typical “American boyfriend” I am indeed a “shitty” boyfriend by comparison.
Most boyfriends will shower love to their girlfriends in every way that they can with lighthearted Instagram comments, gifts, and words of affection to make their girlfriends feel bubbly inside.
Then, there’s me.
I’m poking fun of my relationship, “neglecting” my time with my girlfriend, and focusing on self-development and goals rather than in the relationship itself.
Being someone who loves to work and develop myself and my passions end up biting me in the butt.
If you’re in this situation, it’s not easy.
Someone who you love and adore could be holding you back and keeping you from going ALL IN with your passions and your desire for your self-development.
At this point, you have the tough choice of either to move on or to make it work. Yes, it’s possible to cope and meet in the middle.
The situation calls for hard work on both parts. If you truly love one another, then you can do it.
Here are three ways you can cope.
1) Like My Mother and My Father, We can ALL Change
The mindset of both couples can change for the better. Align together with your values and vision. If you can’t do that, at least respect one another’s lifestyle and compromise in the middle.
Cultural plays a considerable role in how we see the world. My parents being from an underdeveloped country, fully expected to work hard, very hard. Ironically, they both got closer because of that.
The point is, their goals, vision, and drive aligned together. They knew that they had an opportunity here in America and capitalized on it, going all in.
What’s interesting is that my mother didn’t grow up the hardest worker. She didn’t even know how to cook before coming to America. It wasn’t until she set foot in the states and saw how hard my father work where she decided that she needed to put in just as much work to take part in the mission for success.
The hard work mentality and determination can change in the minds of your significant others. By showing through action, you can be that pivot of change in someone else’s life.
Show your significant other the benefits and value of the development your doing. Your actions speak much louder than words.
2) Do it Together
There is nothing more powerful than doing something meaningful with others. When both parties are involved in growth, change comes about quicker because of accountability and knowing that you’re not alone.
Encourage and involve your significant other in some way. First by explaining the benefits to them as individuals, then, how it could benefit them in the relationship.
There is nothing more special than for two people to become great than for just one person to feel the benefits of internal growth.
My mom and dad became closer because of how hard they worked together.
They had two missions that needed cooperation:
- Raise the kids
- Develop the business
They call it “partners” for a reason. It’s a partnership in life goals, aspirations, and your ultimate mission.
3) Your Relationship is Part of Growth Too, Don’t Forget That
Don’t neglect each other, ever.
My mistake in my current relationship is that part of developing myself is also learning to love.
Love is an action that is probably the most difficult thing anyone can do in this life. Love requires constant sacrifice and humility.
It requires that you die to yourself so that someone else could benefit from you. You’re giving yourself up at the cost of your own. To learn to love is a realm beyond any self-development learning you can partake in.
Take action and love – that’s the highest growth you can foster.
Just remember, love could mean keeping your significant other from falling into the trap that they need to be showered with praises and treated like a princess or prince.
No one is ever a prince or princess.
There is something much more beautiful of a couple who gets their hands dirty and works together than one person in the relationship desiring everything from the other person.
We’re all in this together.
The Quiet Onez 